` SELECTIVE vision ( tagged ) ,

[` EMBERS]

It clopped furiously in place, steely shoes imprinting grooves into the loose soil. The mane flew like a handkerchief blown away in the wind, ebony sheen tossing over broad shoulders with shameless beauty. I pulled the leash on my frantic gaze, far too transfixed on the creature. It had walled itself away from the other four that meandered about the pasture forlornly, picking at grass and snorting slight remarks at one another with their smoggy breath. Watching them from the corner of my eyes as if deceiving myself, I wondered if, maybe, they too had lives just like us, another language, another world. If maybe, there incomprehensible whinnying had a meaning that I could hold tightly between my teeth. The ruddy horse’s tail flicked away the onslaught of flies that gathered in their cult about its coarse coat. It’s nostrils flared, the thin flesh pushing against the mask that kept the varmints from landing in the round, black eye.

I looked beside me, where Flicker seemingly shared my fascination. We hadn’t spoken after we reached the Equestrian Center. I couldn’t speak for her, but I was far to caught up in the moment to open my mouth. It had been an hour, then, at the least, and I refrained from moving, as if by chance, I’d scare the beasts into a wild frenzy, and their great, dark hooves would sweep us beneath them and iron us flat. Of course, I assured myself, I knew of the huge white fence that barricaded the equines from our fragile bodies, but I’d found my mind had been choosing to ignore certain things lately; I’d dubbed it my selective vision.

For example, I’d chosen to see the horses as an idealized version of themselves. Perhaps I saw a glossy, mahogany colored coat, flecked with the shine of the overhead stars instead of the dull, mud spattered hide that really was. I really wasn’t sure which was real; I’d forgotten to look around without my selective eyepiece. Sighing gently, I eyed Flicker, and thought of how beautiful she was. And I knew I saw her as she was, because she’d always been beautiful, even through all the ugly moments we’d seen and strolled by. Listening to the horse rumble curiously, the plod of the feet resounded in my ears, ebbing away into the humming of crickets chiming in the woods behind us.

At that time, I’d stopped using “she and I” or “me and her.” Suddenly, we were “us,” simply “us.” Maybe it had to do with our new experiences. How we let each other stare at the vulnerability coating our bleak faces. Maybe it had to do with simplistic love, if love could be described at all simplistic. I watched the flies circle the horse’s head like a buzzing halo, and the horse rearing it’s great head through their frenzied orbit in disgust. Maybe it was the fact that Flicker was pregnant, and soon, there wouldn’t be a “she and I.” It was going to have to be “us.”

puppet. RIVALRY
word count. FIVE-HUNDRED&FIVE
muse. EIGHT-OUT-OF-TEN

[MENTAL]

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[atrb=background,http://i473.photobucket.com/albums/rr96/Rentally_Metarded/Character%20Tables/flickemiddle.png] xx.. Each dull thud reverberated through the ground as the equines hooves rhythmically beat the earth into submission as it neared us and then drifted further away just to turn and come closer once more, amusing itself with its nonsensical running around. Maybe it had just grown bored with all of the continuous standing and grazing that to me seemed like it would become tedious after a while. I didn't blame the horse for wanting to behave so differently from the others that shared its home, but it made me wonder whether the others too would act this way at times or whether it was just this one. And if they did all act like this then why didn't they all just run and play together rather than one at a time? It was all a little confusing to me, it didn't make sense at all. But I couldn't be sure that they always behaved this way, I had never had the chance to observe these majestic creatures from so close, I had heard of them and seen one a few times as its master came to see mine before the accident, but that had been the limits of my experience with them. xx.. I wasn't aware of Rivalry's eyes on me, nor the fact that we'd been staring at the far larger animals for a long time now but I felt my mind begin to wander onto thoughts of him.. I couldn't help it, it seemed to happen more and more often as the days passed even tough I wasn't quite sure how much more time my mind could spend focused entirely on my love for him. I let my head turn so that my eyes could look upon him, so that I could look at the one thing which made me happy beyond belief. In a way he had saved me, not from any physical danger or anything of the sort, but he had saved me from a life of loneliness which would surely have slowly taken its toll on me until there was nothing left for it to consume and I was no longer the dog I once was. I reached over towards him, aiming to nip and pull at his ear gently to get his attention without creating a sound. To me it seemed as though there was a tranquil silence surrounding us, though I wouldn't know for sure because I couldn't hear any of the sounds that he would be able to hear. Sometimes I found my deafness to be an advantage, like now, because there was nothing to distract me from my thoughts or from him. xx.. Once I had his attention I would just look into his eyes lovingly to try and let him understand again that I loved him dearly. Then I moved closer to him, leaning against him lightly with my head pressed against his neck. The fact that I was carrying pups inside of my stomach troubled me sometimes, I had never given birth before and it seemed a frightening thing to me. I didn't know what I would do once they were born, I knew nothing of motherhood and I wasn't sure whether instinct alone would be enough to tell me what to do. I couldn't help but be scared that I would do something wrong and that they would end up sick or hurt or even dead.. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to bear it if I was a bad mother to them, I knew that I would try my best but would it be enough? A thoughtful sigh escapes my lips as I open my eyes to look out at the equines standing peacefully together again, just letting the relaxation surrounding them seep into my body slowly so that I could try and relax as well instead of being paranoid. Everything would work out in the end, it always did.. It had for me and Rivalry and we were together now and things were good. Thinking of our love again made a smile appear on my face as I closed my eyes again and just let my mind drift in the comfort of his presence and the reassurance it gave me.