.into the city&& {{Flicker

[MENTAL]

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
Good lucks gonna shine

<sub>I kept my eyes closed, my body in such shock that I didn't even react to him sniffing my side and nuzzling my face, barely even realizing that something was there. I wasn't sure anymore what my body was feeling or whether it was real or not, the pain so intense that I kept whimpering quietly.

Feeling something against my forehead I opened my eyes to look straight into the face of my companion, feeling relieved and comforted that he was there with me now. I was far enough away from the road for the cars not to bother me too much anymore, and there were no people surrounding me so I was a lot more at ease. Though it was a little late because I was in too much pain to care what happened anyway.

I couldn't understand what his words were but I could see how distressed he was and I had a feeling it had something to do with what I had just done. But I had panicked, I couldn't help what I had done and I couldn't have done anything different either. My own actions hadn't been in my control.

A weary little smile rested on my face as I watched him, blinking a few times almost sleepily. I was in the city, where he wanted to be. Even though it wasn't in the busy part, we were still in the city like he'd wanted. Though it didn't seem to have gone so well. My side was starting to swell up and it was growing hotter and hotter, to me it almost felt as though my side was on fire and I tried to move to get more comfortable but I gave a yelp before I stopped, I couldn't move without a searing pain shooting all the way through my now tired body.

I felt tired suddenly, just wanting to go to sleep still. Like I was slowly drifting down further and further into a deep dark hole that had no bottom to it. The further down I drifted the lighter I felt and the less pain there was. I just let myself keep drifting down slowly, deeper and deeper.

But a sharp pain as I inhaled deeper made me gasp and wake up again, my eyes opening as I looked around to try and find him again to make sure that he was still there and that he hadn't abandoned me and left me there for dead. It felt as though I was going to end up dead, I'd never felt so much pain in my life. I'd never felt so hopeless and weak in my life.

I needed water and food, all the strength had slowly ebbed out of my bruised and battered body.

Suddenly I realized that we would have to get out of here again, the realization making me lift my head too suddenly, the quick movement making me yelp quietly again before I managed to hold my tongue and keep myself quiet. Though I looked distressed at the thought of leaving the alleyway to go through all of that again just to get back out of the city to where it was safe.

And I couldn't move either, I couldn't get up and walk let alone run and dodge through crowds or traffic. Another impact could possibly kill me if it was hard enough, I knew that for a fact.

We needed water and food as well but I couldn't move to get some. I was starting to get panicked again, whimpering from the pain that my rapid breathing was creating. It was all just a chain reaction going in a big loop to just make the pain worse and worse and I couldn't handle it. Though I kept trying to make myself feel and look optimistic, like I was okay so that he wouldn't feel like he had to worry about me.

I let my head lay back down again, closing my eyes to try and go to sleep. I was shivering now, feeling like I was lying on snow even though my side was still boiling hot.</sub>

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
So hold on, we're headed for a better life

------------------------------------------------------------

_{Words;; 706
Muse;; plummeted
Tagged;; Ems with Rivalry
Notes;;}

[` EMBERS]

If you start at point A and begin walking down a hill, it is inevitable that, to get back to where you started, you will eventually have to walk back up one hill or another. You can’t expect to keep ambling down the road without ever going up again; you’d never be able to get home. Inexorably, we’d have to return to the wood from which we came. Our paws would have to take us back across the hectic clamor in the street, thrust our way through the crowds, and make our way down the crooked lanes we’d already walked. And then again, we couldn’t live in the wood, either. Then why go back? Maybe somewhere new, somewhere not entirely rural, but…not this chaotic.

'No,'

[/i] I knew that I couldn’t risk helping her across the street, even if we used the crosswalk like the people did. The shock would entirely consume her, and the limp she ought to have from the hit would slow her up like a car on a speed bump. The impatient truck drivers and city dwellers might not always wait for a couple of lame dogs to finish crossing the road. Somewhere through the haze I could see her smiling, corners of her mouth turned up in a relieved sort of grin. I wasn’t happy, and though it pained me to look so downcast when she was filling up her watering can with hope, I poured out the water and didn’t return the smile.

Instead, I paced out of the alley and onto the sidewalk, looking about myself for some place we could turn that didn’t involve getting back across the road. Scavenging my memories, I tried to map out this part of the city, and an obscure memory of a nearby park seemed to surface in my mind. Musing to myself, I decided that if we followed the sidewalk, we could turn right and continue on without having to pass in front of any paths burdened with fleeing cars. We could stop in the park where there’d be a huge fountain, and probably a few dozen garbage cans with pizza crusts, and hot dog buns, and other assorted cast away food items. Or, maybe for her sake, just a few squirrels.

Looking to her with weary eyes, my vision caressed the injury that wound around her fragile body. Lips pursed, I jerked my head in the direction of the park. "We need to go to the, um, the, um, park," I jumbled my words stupidly, cursing myself. Hell, it’d have been more embarrassing if she’d actually heard me. Striding closer to her, I used my muzzle to point to her wound. "Can you walk for a little bit?" I asked, shuffling my paws for emphasis on the walking. I must have looked like a total moron, I can tell you that for sure. [/size][/justify]

puppet. RIVALRY
word count. FOUR-HUNDRED&SEVENTY-EIGHT
muse. SEVEN-OUT-OF-TEN[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[MENTAL]

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
Good lucks gonna shine

<sub>I did not notice him walk away from me to go and have a look at the street again, I only noticed when he came back and jerked his head towards the road. My heart rate picked up instantly at the thought of going back out there but I made myself keep paying attention to him as he pointed to my side with his muzzle then seemed to walk on the spot.

I knew that I couldn't really go very far even if I could get myself back onto my feet and I knew that I did not want to go back to where the cars and the people were. At least, not until I had recovered enough to actually be able to do what I needed to do so I wouldn't get hurt again. But I had learnt my lesson, I would stay with him no matter what. He knew how to get around in this place and I didn't, look what had happened when I'd even just left his side for a few seconds.

I slowly placed my paws firmly against the ground before I pushed myself up onto my feet with a lot of effort. I trembled again as I stood there, my eyes turning onto him and begging him not to take me out there again. But if he thought that we needed to go somewhere else, well, then I didn't really have much of a choice but to grin and bear it.

Lifting a paw I placed it a few inches in front of where it had been before moving my weight slowly onto it so I could lift the other. But it was a mistake, putting even a little weight on it put strain on my ribs and it hurt. I stumbled forward quickly to get the weight off of it again. Standing there for a few seconds before I tried it again, just gritting my teeth and trying to block the little messages of pain reaching my brain as I looked towards him to lead the way. I could walk a little but it was going to be extremely slow progress and if he left my side for even a moment I wasn't sure how I would react. But at least I wouldn't be able to run across the street again or go very far if I did panic and try to run.</sub>

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
So hold on, we're headed for a better life

------------------------------------------------------------

_{Words;; 407
Muse;; low
Tagged;; Ems with Rivalry
Notes;;}

[` EMBERS]

She was a pup, just taking her first few steps about the place, toddling with knobby knees, falling, and picking herself up, trying desperately to keep balance on her tender limbs. No, no. My gaze avoided her injured side, which I knew would swell by the next morning, and my sight only grazed it for perhaps a few seconds before I focused on her wretched face that looked at me like I was some bloody savior who was going to lead her out of the desert and into the thriving, bountiful land of the happy. Looking inside myself, I jabbed heatedly at my despicable black heart, swelling with an icy malevolence. Eluding her gaze, I concentrated on her paws fumbling about, and the hoarse cries following each step she took.

My gait led me to her, and as I stood near, I shook my head. This wasn’t going to work out. I wasn’t any doctor, but the more strain she put on it, I knew, the worse it would get. My lips were chapping as I continued to run my tongue along the ridges in thought. I met the mossy, black brick wall with a brooding gape as frustration squeezed my mind in an embrace a little too tight for my liking. The blighted, red brick wall behind me opposed the side of the dark grimy building, and my focus drifted from the both of them as I attempted to tune in to the right station in my mind. How to get from here to there.

Looking to her for answers, I spied a tuft of my own fur that had been brushed backwards and struck out in an odd manner. The left corner of my lip twitched slightly, and I looked up into her bright eyed expression with vague awareness before returning to the sight of her dainty white paws that shivered under her own weight. ”Let’s try this,” I suggested. My bright voice was lost to her. Bending down slightly, I moved a little closer toward her, nudging her lightly in the side. ”Put some of your weight on me, and we’ll walk together,” I was aware, this time, of how uncomfortable of a situation I presented. At least for me. Battering at my mortified heart, I forced a quick look in her direction, concerned at how today would end.

puppet. RIVALRY
word count. THREE-HUNDRED&NINETY-TWO
muse. FIVE-OUT-OF-TEN

[MENTAL]

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
Good lucks gonna shine

<sub>I felt his touch and turned my head to look at him, realizing what he was trying to do and looking thankful as I let my weight rest against him instead of straining myself. It wasn't the most comfortable way to walk even though it made it a little less painful for me. I let my eyes close so that I was only aware of him against me, the rest of the world lost to me.

I could keep track of where to walk just by paying attention to him so I kept my eyes shut, deciding that maybe it would be better if I couldn't see the crowds of humans or the cars passing close by. If something touched my I would tense but not move away from it, I couldn't. If he took his support away then I would fall to the ground in an injured heap again.

Sometimes I seemed to just do things that really weren't such a good idea and got me into bad situations like this one. But I don't think that I have ever done anything that has turned out this badly, and I knew that it wasn't even over yet. There was still a chance of something worse happening to me or the both of us. It wasn't something that I wanted to think about too much at the moment, I had to try and keep myself in a more positive state of mind so that I did't just change my mind completely and stop right where we were instead of getting out of there.</sub>

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
So hold on, we're headed for a better life

------------------------------------------------------------

_{Words;; 271
Muse;; suckeh
Tagged;; Ems with Rivalry
Notes;;}

[` EMBERS]

I could see her mind churning thoughtfully though I did not look at her headlong. Instead her heaving side reminded me that I had been the one to drag her recklessly through the industrious urban streets of the city far before she was ready. If only we had lingered in the outskirts for a few days, we could have basked on the sidewalk, and I would have taught her how to remain stagnant and silent as each car passed us by, and how to identify the different moods of a human just by looking at them. She could have learned how to duck and dodge in the midst of the turbulent horde of on goers, and first how to cross a not so busy street. But I had compelled her to run before she knew how to walk.

Remaining at standstill for a few more moment I turned my head to the side to glimpse at my companion before I began a hurried stroll out into the open. But I could only make out the hairs on her pelt, as she was turned away from me, eyes unsurprisingly shut. Opening my mouth to gulp in a few fistfuls of air, my paws carried me out from between the soiled, looming walls of the buildings. A flock of cars were skimming down the road; they were only colored red and blue blurs mirrored in my eyes.

Orbs revolved quickly in their sockets, bouncing from the path in front of me, to my companion’s paws, which I observed keenly every so often to make sure she could keep up with my pace. This side of the street seemed much less occupied compared to the dense school of humans opposite of us. Even so, I kept pressed up against the front of each building, careful never to near the curb. All I could think of is what could happen if her paws just slipped a little bit over the edge. Black tire tread marks scarred my vision as I shuffled forward, striding hastily around a set of stairs that yawned from the open front door of a small office building.

Each movement seemed imperceptibly slow and unmemorable. The turns blurred into a straight line, and each pedestrian acquired the same face. But ten minutes of our slow saunter along the roadside, never leaving the sidewalk, would lead us into the park where my companion could rest quietly, undisturbed, eat, and drink. As we neared the final bend, I could see a swing set adorned with five rusty little swings, creaking in the gentle wind. Only a little girl swung contentedly in the middle swing, tapping together the tips of her shiny black shoes as she neared the trees’ grasps. And then—

’Shit,’

[/i] I cursed ruefully. There was a road. There was still a road we needed to cross. One. Fucking. Road. Sensing her steady breathing, I assumed her eyes were closed, too. If I could cross the street successfully, perhaps she wouldn’t even notice that we’d left the sidewalk. Moving forward a little more slowly, I neared the dip in the sidewalk where the chalk white lines of the crosswalk had been shakily drawn. The lack of cars seemed to be a blessing from God, so I looked both ways, took a breath, and stepped onto the asphalt.[/size][/justify]

puppet. RIVALRY
word count. FIVE-HUNDRED&FIFTY-FIVE
muse. EIGHT-OUT-OF-TEN[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[MENTAL]

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
Good lucks gonna shine

<sub>The vibrations through the earth that I still felt as the cars passed by weren't so important to me anymore, I drowned them out with feeling his breathing, his movements. Just, feeling him. I ignored the urge to open my eyes, struggling to keep them tightly shut and to keep trusting him to not lead me into any more misfortune. I was trusting him completely, to lead me somewhere safe where I could stop worrying about whether something was going to hit me or step on me or even just touch me. My skin crawled at the thought of something unknown brushing against me while my eyes were shut and I just breathed deeply to try and keep myself calm.

A small breeze caressed my sore body and it made me feel a little more at ease, it was like the earth was telling me it was okay, like the air itself was trying to reassure and comfort me with its gentle touch. It made me calm down more and smile slightly as I just let myself relax against him a little more, still moving to keep up with the pace that he was setting. I felt the change in subtle change of surface as we stepped onto a road, my breathing quickening for a brief moment before I realized that there was no cars nearby, I couldn't feel them thundering towards me. The earth was still.

My ears twitched before perking just to twitch again each time the little girl's swing swung nearest to the ground. The high pitched squeak of the chain straining against the metal loop it was attached to as gravity fought to pull the girl and the swing down onto the ground managed to make its way into my ears and to my mind. A sound.. Maybe it was the pitch of it or just something else that made me be able to hear or at least sense it. My eyes opened as I calmly gazed upon the girl, a curious glint in my eyes as I stopped my movements to just stand still and watch.

A sense of safety and freedom swept over my, my eyes following her go up into the sky with her hair and dress flowing behind her, her legs and body reaching forward, striving to go up higher towards the sky's offered freedom before the earth pulled her back down into its welcoming arms like a loving mother that couldn't let her child go yet.

A child's happy laughter sounded in my ears, though I wasn't sure whether it came from the little girl in front of me or from somewhere deep within my memories of the past. My eyes continued to stay focused upon the girl and the swings, a look of fascinated content on my features as I seemed to have momentarily forgotten about my pain and my companion. Everything was still, moving slowly, and I felt as though someone was looking at me with loving eyes and an encouraging smile..</sub>

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
So hold on, we're headed for a better life

------------------------------------------------------------

_{Words;; 510
Muse;; apparently coming out of hiding
Tagged;; Ems with Rivalry
Notes;; had to stop the post there, just seems like a nice little end to it and I want him to react first. lol}

[` EMBERS]

Her body left a warm imprint where her skin touched me, and the rest of my untouched flesh remained so unbearably cold. Whenever I stepped, her paws barely propped themselves upright against the ground, and I found myself bearing most of her weight upon my shoulder. I had lost her to some odd dreamland, as I could now see her rounded eyes set low on the crest of her muzzle like an oddly colored dewdrop stuck between the crinkles welded in the veins of a silky green leaf.

The puddles of oil in the road were rainbows that got caught inside small pools down here on the ground, and the heavy smell of diesel fuel was filling up my nose with its putrid scent. I plugged my senses with corks and bottle caps as I tried to soothe my tensed muscles for fear of disturbing my small companion with my erratic changes in emotion. Soon, I was barely aware of her presence against my side as I scanned the road, squinting as the strip of blacktop grew further and further away, reduced to small gray lines upholding little moving dots of old station wagons, and sparkling red convertibles.

Spurring myself in the side, I knew that my companion would notice if I lingered to long. It’d take us less than ten seconds to get across the road, and the street was blank, the weight of cars pressing elsewhere. Dragging her along with me, I began scuttling hurriedly across the pavement, claws clacking a little too loud. I kept myself fixated on the girl tapping her shoes together as she swung higher and higher on the swing set. She was touching the vividly green leaves with her toes, now, and I could hear her giggles resounding about the area. The droning of a car engine was approaching, but I didn’t look left, and I didn’t look right. I was walking. And there were the pale lines covering the blacktop disappearing into a curb.

With a heave, I pulled the two of us onto the sidewalk across the street, breathing deeply as a black pickup rumbled past my stilled tail. The little girl had jumped off her swing, and landed deftly in the mulch at the base of the tree. She left it swaying, making a tremendous creaking noise for such a small little swing. I let my companion slip gently onto the deserted walkway. And I was standing erectly, simply immobile.

puppet. RIVALRY
word count. FOUR-HUNDRED&TEN
muse. SIX-OUT-OF-TEN

[MENTAL]

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
Good lucks gonna shine

<sub>When we were on the deserted sidewalk I lowered myself slowly onto the rough ground that scratched at my stomach but I barely noticed as my eyes stayed focused on the little girl. My heart yearned to be with a human again, to have them take care of me and to have the friendship that I had experienced right through my young life up until the accident. My tail wagged slightly at the thought that she might notice us and come over to pat us, thumping against the sidewalk quietly.

I moved slowly to get back onto my feet to move forward towards the girl and so that I was on the grass. Then I lay back down, the grass was much more comfortable to lie on than the hard concrete. I turned my head to see where my companion had gone though, wondering if he had calmed down as well like I had or not. Or maybe whatever it was that had made me feel better hadn't done the same to him.

I could still feel the gentle breeze against me, cooling my aching side to soothe it slightly. Offering him a reassuring smile I motioned towards the ground next to me, wanting him to lie down with me. He was starting to seem a lot less bothered by being close to me, maybe he was getting used to it, or maybe he was starting to like me enough to not feel uncomfortable with getting too close.

I wanted him to observe the little human with me, to watch and to listen. The sound of the swing was still ringing within my mind, unleashing other sounds that had been locked up in my memory to allow me to orchestrate a composition of what my surroundings might sound like. The peaceful sound of the breeze rustling the leaves on the trees, the happy giggling of the little girl, birds singing quietly to their families. None of the sounds that were put together to create the song of nature in my mind had anything to do with the city around us, I'd never been anywhere near one in order to learn and remember the sounds of it.

My breathing slowed and deepened as I watched the girl, a content expression on my face. Everything about my body was slowing, relaxing and just easing itself into a peaceful state. I could fall asleep right there where I lay without any trouble at all, doze off to happy memories of the past. Though I wasn't quite sure whether that would be a good idea, I had a feeling those happy thoughts might turn into nightmares of today. Of scary big monsters coming at me with angry roars to bite my side and knock me off my paws, of mad rushing people kicking me and trying to drive me away from my companion and trying to separate us. Of him being gone..

The thought that he might not be there made me look for him quickly, almost panicking for a moment again but making myself stay calm. He wouldn't leave, I was sure that he wouldn't.. Not unless he had a good reason to do so and I hadn't given him one. Not that I knew of at least.</sub>

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
So hold on, we're headed for a better life

------------------------------------------------------------

_{Words;; 551
Muse;; so-so
Tagged;; Ems with Rivalry
Notes;;}

[` EMBERS]

My shadow seem to sashay on the sidewalk, stooping to the ground like it had been flat ironed, and then enlarging, scooping at the sky with pricked ears. Of course, I was in quite a daze, so I did not bother to trust my hazy gaze, for I knew I’d been standing perfectly still on the side of the road, legs lengthened and rigid, paws planted firmly against the coarse cement. My companion had moved away from me, settling on the grass nearest to the swing, which the little girl had taken up again. Her little sundress billowed about her high knee socks in the wind, a sunhat flapped about her eyes like a bird with broken wings.

Settling myself quickly, I let my straight limbs fall into a more comfortable slouch, paws only lightly touching the ground rather than attempting to take root. However, I kept my tail frozen, lingering in the dying moments. I eyed the female’s dreamy gaze curiously, beginning to trot her way, only stopping when she looked back to smile. My stiff nod answered her gesture, and this time I took up a path a little way to the right to a garbage can a few yards away, looking hesitantly backwards to assure myself she’d fair well for just a few seconds.

The canister was made of stone, and was welded into the ground. It wore a plastic hat that covered its head, an only a small opening served as its mouth so people could put in things, and take them out again. In other words, I would be unable to knock the thing over. Cursing silently into the wind, I could feel my lip rising angrily in frustration, but forced my over-reaction down my throat, burying in deep inside myself. Swinging my head around, I considered the possibility the park had other trash cans tucked in the corners, but they’d dog-proofed the place ages ago, I realized. The vague memory of the place was fleshing itself out, and I could see myself a few years back, growling at a can just like this. Stupid, forgetful me.

I’d have to catch us a meal, if discarded human food wasn’t accessible to the two of us. I stalked back to her, my inner smile set as a cross frown. She’d been giving me the impression to sit down beside her, but I ignored the offer, my will to be close to another vanishing with my good day. Instead, I rested a few feet away, sitting up stiffly, staring at the little girl on the swing. A wistful sense twirled around my companion’s head, and I skeptically glanced toward the small human. I’d never cared for the two-legged people, as my experiences with them never ended very well. I found myself recalling the time when I’d bitten a man’s hand with angry jaws after he’d shoved me out of his way. My respect for the creatures were minimal if completely non-existent. The average canine shouldn’t need a human master.

[/size]

puppet. RIVALRY
word count. FIVE-HUNDRED&TWO
muse. SEVEN-OUT-OF-TEN[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[MENTAL]

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
Good lucks gonna shine

<sub>When he didn't come to sit down close to me a small frown appeared on my face as I turned my head to watch him, letting my body fall towards the side that wasn't sore. I only lay there for a few seconds before I grew uncomfortable. The city still made me a little nervous, knowing it was so close and that at any moment more humans or cars could come closer to me scared me a little. I got to my feet again, my mind and body so tired now that I barely even felt the pain anymore. I just wanted to sleep.

Looking a little dazed and undecided as my eyes moved around the park, searching for somewhere to go, somewhere to hide. I had completely snapped out of the state of mind I had let myself slip into before, that optimistic, trusting state of mind where you let yourself think that anything is possible, anything can happen. Reality was like the cold hard concrete of the sidewalk, rough and unforgiving.

I looked over at my companion, giving him a pleading look. I wanted him to help me find somewhere safe to sleep so that I could rest my tired and aching body for a little while at least. I wanted somewhere warm and comforting... I wanted somewhere that didn't exist in the city's limits. I didn't even care that my stomach had been empty for more than a day now or that I was growing weaker by the second because of injury having been added to the already starved state that I had been in.

The optimism had faded to leave room for all of the negative things to suddenly hit me with a painful stabbing effect to my lungs and mind. My head pounding with tired panic as my lungs burned with the polluted air I breathed in. The reasoning for coming here with him eluded me as I tried to think of a way out, a way back into the soft and gentle hands of nature away from men. I needed to comfort of safety which I would not get within the city unless my companion was willing to stay close to me to comfort me with his warmth and presence but I didn't think that would be happening.</sub>

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
So hold on, we're headed for a better life

------------------------------------------------------------

_{Words;; 390
Muse;; bleh
Tagged;; Ems with Rivalry
Notes;; sorry, she's having a bit of a problem with mood swings. lol. I think its all the stress she was under.}

[` EMBERS]

A small sigh darted nimbly past my lips, and I could feel the tuft of air breezing along the contours of the wind as it left my cracked mouth. Creased brow line furrowed as I observed my companion’s pleading face for my company. How utterly dependent she was upon me, though we never had even spoken the other’s name. Burrowing through my thoughts, I couldn’t recollect a single time in which I had needed someone else to hold onto, someone whose heels I could tread upon, and they wouldn’t care. I was an only child, born sickly next to a couple of stillborns. And soon after, I was alone, and I raised myself to depend on no one, perhaps only to avoid killing those I’d come to know.

My expression lifted as I watched her eyes, pupils flitting about the scene. What would happen, now that I’d broken all of my rules? Live on your own, don’t mingle with those outside of the walls you’ve built around yourself…don’t care. If I did lose my temper, if mania took over, and I throttled and killed her, what could I possibly do with myself when I came to my senses, smelled the dawning morning with the aftertaste of blood in my mouth? My crease was not frustrated, it was worried now, but I forced an expressionless, musing look upon my face so not to worry the female. She had enough to worry about for the day.

I picked my way through the lengthy forest of grass to her, and stopped a slight distance in front of her, breath caught in my throat. ”Why don’t we move to a more secluded area?” I offered quietly, jerking my head deeper into the park. My eye caught the girl on the swing, who’d jumped again from the height and landed adroitly, this time in the grass just before the mulch. Offering a brief scowl, I returned my gaze to my companion, wondering silently if she’d even have the strength to walk the trail into the less inhabited area of the park where a small collection of picnic groves basked in the shade of a small wood. Perhaps she could stay there a few hours, maybe the day, and I’d try to find a way out of her hell to safely get back to the rural part of the country.

puppet. RIVALRY
word count. THREE-HUNDRED&NINTEY-FOUR
muse. FIVE-OUT-OF-TEN

[MENTAL]

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
Good lucks gonna shine

<sub>My eyes stay on him, watch him closely. He's talking again, why won't he stop talking? I can't hear him and seeing his lips move just make me yearn to hear his words, to hear his voice.. Oh god.. to hear any voice would be warmly welcomed by my ears but his voice.. I suddenly want to hear him say my name, just that one simple word. I hadn't heard it in so long. The last time I heard my name had been before the accident that had taken sound and my lovely owner out of my life.. That terrible accident. I can't bare to think of it at the moment, the stress of the day already having gotten to me and not needing anything else to make it even worse.

I suddenly realize that I had stayed standing there for a few minutes now without reacting to his head gesture and I seemed to snap out of my state of being elsewhere within my mind to pay attention to him again. Just nodding my head a little before my gaze dropped towards the ground a moment. Turning my eyes back towards him though to see where he would lead the way to wherever he thought it might be best to go.

The pain had numbed into being just a throbbing presence through my body, tiring me further and making me feel as though I wasn't in control of myself, like the lightest touch might make me fall to the ground because I was too weak to resist the pulling force of the earth. It was hard enough for me to just stay standing there, feeling like I had the weight of the world pressing on my body to force it to break under the pressure, to wither away in the bad weather while I starved because of its cruel humor. Because that's what it must be, a harsh joke of the universe, taking away things that I loved and lived for and then submitting me to a serious of events to make me feel myself fall further and further into the deep dark abyss of depression.

I will keep trying my hardest to stay optimistic, to see the good things that I still had left in my life. I could still see the little beauties in the world, like the small drops of water decorating the delicate petals of the flowers after a light rain that washes away all of the things that take away cleanness from the air. I can still smell all the smells of spring when everything starts to grow again. But its not the same. I'm just grateful that I can still love, that I didn't lose that ability when the most important thing in my life was taken away. I was coming to love my companion, for all of his faults instead of despite them. I love him for his ability to stick with me though I can clearly see he is not a dog that normally spends his days in the presence of another. Who knows, maybe somewhere inside of his troubled heart he might find a place for me. I can only hope.

If he wants me to move he will have to be patient, I was finding it extremely hard to get messages to move through my pained body from my brain to my limbs. They seemed to be detached from me, there but yet not there. It was a little unnerving to feel that you cannot control your own body, a little strange too I must admit. But slowly I was getting my legs to move forward one at a time, shifting my weight with quiet whimpers because the pain would flare up again with each movement and become almost unbearable. I could feel my stomach rumbling as well, probably shrunken so small by now that I would barely be able to eat anything anyway. Did I deserve this? To be so sore that I wasn't even sure it could get worse, to not be able to hear or be loved and to be put through this torment of stressful things that sent my head spinning and my heart thumping against my ribs in fear for my life...

A small pained smile rests on my lips, my attempt to keep my mind sane and looking for the more positive things. But I doubt it looks convincing as I was starting to find it harder and harder to find the pleasant things. He didn't want to be close to me though my heart was starting to ache for him, he was the first living thing that had been nice to me and that had actually taken the time to pay a little attention to me. Even if it had only been because I had stumbled onto him and he had probably pitied me too much to just leave me there. I don't know why he had decided to stay with me, to put up with my awkwardness because he couldn't talk to me and I couldn't talk back to him. I wonder, what would we have said to each other could we have conversed? Maybe my deafness was the only thing that had made it possible for us to still be in each other's company. Maybe if we had been able to speak to each other we would have already gone our separate ways. But if I could hear then I wouldn't have reacted the way I had in the city, maybe I could even have enjoyed it. And then we would not be here and I would not be in pain, we could then have been enjoying the city together.</sub>

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
So hold on, we're headed for a better life

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_{Words;; 966
Muse;; better than I expected
Tagged;; Ems with Rivalry
Notes;; Poor Flicker.. she makes me feel so depressed at the moment.}

[` EMBERS]

Her eyes were poised like dank cavities set high on her face. What had I done? She took on a fragile, skeletal form, her glossy coat ebbing into an insipid, sickly shade. I feared the sight of a bruise welded into the thin flesh, polished with black and blue, round, the size of a soccer ball where the car had collided with her. Still all my fault, it’s still me who’s to blame. The Good Samaritan would speak of how I should have protected her, should have thrown myself into harm’s way to become a shield for her. Of course, it wasn’t her fault for running into the street, oh, no. She was just scared, that’s all. Frightened and inexperienced with a life I’d been turning in my paws for a good few years now. Damn all those do-gooders.

A mini-van skidded noisily against the cracked asphalt, tire whirring as it tripped, falling into a pothole resting snuggly against the curb. Flaking paint cascaded from the doors as they slammed shut, a procession of a couple with four young children clambering out with skateboards, and picnic baskets, and little dolly heads poking out of bags. I watched them apathetically, diverting my attention from my companion to them to ease the sore spot sprouting in my mind. Crocs clad with little doodads slapped against dewy grass, a soft squishing sound circling my ear like a dizzied bird in confused flight. Pocketing an annoyed face, I suddenly wished they’d shut the hell up.

If everyone was always in the same mood I was, I could be happy all day. I’m happy, your happy, I’m sad, you’re sad, and no one’s going to sour the day’s tone with contradictory emotions. The small children skipped gaily, while I gazed insufferably upon my starved, injured companion. I, too, had begun to feel the ache and pang in my stomach as it complained for a meal. Silencing it coldly, I reminded myself I had dealt with worse in the past, recalling a winter when I was young when I had lost myself in the rural fragment of the lands I’d wandered. I hadn’t learned to hunt prey then, and I admitted to still being rusty now. I had always been a city dweller, even though I’d been born deep in the rustic countryside.

I turned to her as she jostled her body, her endeavor to pull herself to her feet. A nagging thought told me to help her up, but I grew a hard callous about myself, batting away the pathetic mindset I’d developed around my companion. She made me happy, but happiness was a weakness. Opening my mouth to speak, I decided against it, closing my jaws slowly, eyes bitterly cutting up each blade of grass with a hardened stare. I was in a foul mood, mostly because I would have to erase this entire experience in my mind lest I thought about it too much; unruly emotion would drive me to step up a level, into a zone of pure fury over the slightest thing.

Beginning to pace away, I looked back at her only once, and still then she blurred as I focused on the family of six setting up a picnic lunch yards away. ’Damn,’ I realized suddenly. She needed food, her delicate form pricked at my fur uneasily, and the picnic basket danced lazily behind her. I’d have to end up begging.

puppet. RIVALRY
word count. FIVE-HUNDRED&SEVENTY-ONE
muse. SEVEN-OUT-OF-TEN

[MENTAL]

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
Good lucks gonna shine

<sub>I wasn't aware of the family that had arrived and were behind m, my senses had shut down partially, only working enough for me to keep track of the dog leading the way in front of me. My eyes focused on his body moving away from me because I was moving slower than him. It made me feel slightly panicked, not wanting to fall behind and be left alone in this place where the humans weren't nice but rather violent and where they hurt me instead of giving me food and cuddles like the humans I had known all my life and grown up around.

Seeing him get further ahead of me my heart skipped a flustered beat before I forced myself to move faster to keep up with him, whimpering quietly from the pain but trying not to make it too known that moving hurt. I didn't want him to worry about me, didn't want him to be given a reason to leave me there and abandon me. I knew that I was making it hard on him, now more than ever. No one wanted a weakling with them to slow them down and make it impossible for them to do the things they would normally be able to go and do. I could barely move as it was so what would happen if we had to run to get away from something? He'd have to either leave me or be caught too.. It wasn't fair on him. I was only bringing him down and causing him trouble.

I didn't want to make life harder for him, life was probably hard enough as it was without me trailing on his heels. Realizing this I stopped moving, we'd gotten quite far from where we'd started off by the swings. I just sat down and watch him with apologetic eyes, my mind screaming at me and telling me that I was being stupid and that this was a bad idea, that I need him to stay safe. But I wasn't going to be so selfish as to put my own safety before his, he didn't need me to look after and take care of. My heart already ached with the decision that I'd made, the decision to let him go ahead without me as a burden, I'd let him go on with his life as if he had never met me.

I tremble as I sit there, not able to keep my eyes on him. I drop my gaze onto the ground, feeling the sadness well up inside of me. I didn't want to be away from him, I wanted to stay close to him and let him get comfortable with me so that maybe we could've had a good life together. But that wouldn't happen, he was from the city and I from the country.. We were from different worlds and he didn't need someone like me. Not like I needed him. I can feel the emotion bubbling up inside of me slowly, dreading being alone again but I couldn't do this to him. I couldn't expect him to look after me. I would be fine on my own.. I could just go and hide away and drift off to sleep and let the pain just take me away to where it wouldn't matter. Me being dead would be better for everyone, I couldn't take care of myself and no one deserved to put up with me and my ignorance.. It just wasn't fair.</sub>

Someday, baby
You and I are gonna be the ones
So hold on, we're headed for a better life

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_{Words;; 606
Muse;; dead
Tagged;; Ems with Rivalry
Notes;;}